Stochastic Causality in Experiential Manifolds:
A Unified Theory of Fucking Around and Finding Out
A Nonlinear Epistemodynamic Approach to Consequential Ontologies
The FA→FO axiom is here formalized as a minimally parameterized, uni-slope model in which the magnitude of finding out emerges as an invariant, homomorphic image of fucking around. Treating FA as the generative operator on an experiential manifold and FO as its epistemic coimage, we demonstrate that incremental perturbations in FA yield isomorphic escalations in FO (β=1), thereby collapsing contingency into necessity. The trajectory from origin to consequence is not merely correlative but constitutive: FA instantiates the very metric by which FO becomes legible. Consequently, stochastic or nonlinear accounts are rendered superfluous; the system exhibits strict proportionality, homoscedasticity, and path independence. In sum, FA is both necessary and sufficient for FO, a teleological circuit in which praxis begets knowledge with unit elasticity. Future work may generalize this mapping to higher-dimensional mischief spaces and non-Euclidean repercussion geometries.
Within this framework, we successfully reproduced the canonical FAFO cycle observed in empirical folklore, thereby substantiating the predictive capacity of the model across heterogeneous ontological substrates.
- J. Vandrake, P. Oscillanti, L. Thorne, “Epistemic Hysteresis in Causal Folklore: Quantifying the FA→FO Manifold,” Journal of Irreproducible Results, 42(3): 1337–1359 (2023). Intellectual Stimulus
